Red flags when choosing a therapist or coach.

• Person-centred therapy is the foundational approach taught to newly qualified counsellors and for many clients, it isn't enough. Its primary modality is listening and reflecting back. If you need to vent, it may feel supportive. But when we are in crisis we need more sophistocated practices to help us regulate our mind and body. When we are ready to progress and engage it's helpful to have some more direction, tools and perspective. The greatest therapists are extraordinary listeners. But extraordinary listening alone does not make a great therapist.

• A recommendation of meeting once a week is an arbitrary recommendation, one that suits a therapist's schedule. Sometimes more is needed. Sometimes it's just a top-up. The frequency should serve you, not a standard template.

• A good therapist adapts their approach to the person in front of them. As Maslow observed, if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Be wary of anyone who applies the same modality to every situation regardless of what you bring.

• The wounded healer is a powerful archetype but only when they have done their own work. The most common reason cited on training applications to become a therapist is their own personal wounding. Too often this becomes displacement, a way of avoiding the inner work themselves. Before trusting someone with your healing, it's worth asking about their own experiences and their daily practices.

• Qualifications do not make a therapist. In my experience as a trainer, practioner and supervisor over three decades the work is character-driven. No certificate can substitute for genuine inner work. Ask your therapist about their own practice. Their psychological, biological and spiritual health. Not in search of perfection but because they need to walk their talk.

• Ultimately, our nervous systems feel safe with some people and not others. This is shaped by qualities, values, shared experience and something more intangible which is hard to describe. Before you commit, check their website. Notice how they talk about themselves, their experience, not just their qualification and skillset. And if you feel nothing on first meeting, trust that. If you are investing in yourself and your future, look beyond the professional mask.