Milton Erikson, one of the most gifted psychotherapists, was once asked to visit a woman who had retreated almost entirely from life. She lived alone in a large mansion in Milwaukee. Deeply depressed, wheelchair-bound, she kept the curtains drawn at all hours. Her only contact with the outside world was an occasional visit to church. By every psychological and physical measure, she had disappeared into darkness. When Erikson arrived at her home, he noticed on the windowsill,

The high functioning woman is composed, naturally polished, self-driven and her nervous and hormonal systems, apparently, perfectly calibrated. She is resilient, good in a crisis, calm under pressure and stays long after everyone else has gone home. The high functioning woman meets or exceeds societal expectations for her productivity, responsibility, daily routines, achievement and is assumed, above all else, to be effortlessly well and thriving. This myth is so ingrained in

Bestselling author David Reuben summed up society's view of the midlife woman in 1969...the year I was born. 'Once the ovaries stop the very essence of being a woman stops. She becomes as close as she can to becoming a man.' The subtext here is clear, a woman's essence is biological and reproductive. There is no self, no psyche, no identity beyond the functioning of her ovaries. She is a baby machine. When that ceases, so does her purpose. There is no evolution, no transforma

My brain and heart divorced a decade ago over who was to blame about how big of a mess I have become eventually, they couldn't be in the same room with each other now my head and heart share custody of me I stay with my brain during the week and my heart gets me on weekends they never speak to one another - instead, they give me the same note to pass to each other every week and their notes they send to one another always says the same thing: "This

For decades, conditions like autism and ADHD were understood primarily as matters of attention, executive function and social processing. Research was conducted almost exclusively on boys and men. Women were diagnosed late or not at all. Their presentations were dismissed as anxiety, depression, personality disorders, eating disorders or bipolar. What is emerging now is a fundamentally different picture. And it has serious implications for every neurodivergent woman who has e

Late-discovered neurodivergent women carry a lifetime of pro masking. Beneath the polished surface, we are trying hard just to hold it together. And when it starts to unravel as it always eventually does, we blame ourselves. Self blame is typical of ADHD particularly in women. We are prone to more emotional dysregulation. That self blame is the voice in our head telling us we are flawed, broken, too much, not enough, lazy, disorganised, too sensitive, chaotic, a fraud, an imp

Carl Jung said, "Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you." Physical company is never the issue. The deepest form of loneliness is felt because we struggle to connect to ourselves. Some of the experiences that affect us as neurodivergent women include: Object permanence and object constancy Neurodivergent women can struggle with both of these because of sensory processing issues. Fo

For decades, the world told us who we were and we believed it. We adjusted ourselves, accommodated the world at our expense and performed. We smiled through the crash and burn cycles, numbed the internal chaos and kept the shiny façade polished. When we were told we were too sensitive, too intense, too much or not enough, we worked hard to prove otherwise. When we became brave enough to finally ask for help, the medical system handed us a label. Stressed, anxious, depressed,

There is a Latin word ipseity (ip-see-uh-tee) that means the core essence of who we are. Our innermost self, unborrowed and unmasked. The part of us that existed before the roles, the expectations, before who we needed to become to find belonging. Midlife calls us back to that self whether we are ready or not. For most women the first half of our life is spent building careers, relationships, families, status...our identity. We learn how to be useful, needed and how to hold

Sir Ken Robinson was a hero of mine. He grew up in the same area of Liverpool as I did, but it was his extraordinary work in education and his rare gift for communication that I most admired. Widely regarded as one of the great thinkers on creativity and learning, his TED talk remains one of the most watched in history. Sadly, 2020 marked his passing. I was fortunate to work with Sir Ken on a few occasions, and I have always loved a particular photograph of him with my eight-

Cast your mind back to the last time you felt jealousy or envy. I remember mine vividly. It begins with my mind fixing, almost involuntarily, on one person. A sudden preoccupation. Then a thought... I don't like the attention person A gave to person B. Within minutes I have blown my entire life up inside my head. Negative fantasies. Free-fall anxiety. Finally transported into that familiar place of unworthiness and self-loathing, questioning my own value and right to exist. T

This post is based on the article Cellular Vitality: Unlocking the Power of Mitochondrial Health Posted on February 18, 2025 by Katie...

In the midst of hate, I found there was,within me, an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I found there was,within me, an invincible smile. In the midst of chaos, I found there was,within me, an invincible calm… In the midst of winter, I found there was,within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger, something better, pushing right back. Within Me by Albert Ca

I'm not Flexible. I'm Not Flexible. (And Other Reasons Not to Try Yoga) The number one reason people pass on yoga is " I'm not flexible." This is like refusing to go to the dentist because your teeth are in poor condition. That's precisely why you might want to go. In Western culture yoga has become associated with bendy twenty-somethings performing extraordinary shapes on Instagram. But traditional yoga is far less concerned with the shape of your pose than with what you di

We know the perils of smoking. Yet remarkably little is published about the seemingly innocuous activity of sitting in a chair. Former NASA scientist Dr Joan Vernikos has compared prolonged sitting to being weightless in space and the effects on the body are similarly devastating. Sitting causes the abdominals to lose tone and strength, creates immobility in the hips, and shortens the hip flexors. The result is chronic lower back pain, compromised lumbar spinal discs and a ca

Mindfulness meditation has been hailed as the cure for almost everything, depression, chronic pain, diabetes, even autism. In sport it is used to still the mind under competitive pressure. In business it is promoted as a tool for managing stress and increasing productivity. The military has taught snipers to meditate so they can steady their hand and emotionally detach when killing the enemy. All of this is a long way from where meditation began. Arising from Eastern philosop

Person-centred therapy is the foundational approach taught to newly qualified counsellors and for many clients, it isn't enough. Its primary modality is listening and reflecting back. If you need to vent, it may feel supportive. But when we are in crisis we need more sophistocated practices to help us regulate our mind and body. When we are ready to progress and engage it's helpful to have some more direction, tools and perspective. The greatest therapists are extraordinary l