Milton Erikson, one of the most gifted psychotherapists, was once asked to visit a woman who had retreated almost entirely from life. She lived alone in a large mansion in Milwaukee. Deeply depressed, wheelchair-bound, she kept the curtains drawn at all hours. Her only contact with the outside world was an occasional visit to church. By every psychological and physical measure, she had disappeared into darkness. When Erikson arrived at her home, he noticed on the windowsill,

For decades, conditions like autism and ADHD were understood primarily as matters of attention, executive function and social processing. Research was conducted almost exclusively on boys and men. Women were diagnosed late or not at all. Their presentations were dismissed as anxiety, depression, personality disorders, eating disorders or bipolar. What is emerging now is a fundamentally different picture. And it has serious implications for every neurodivergent woman who has e

Late-discovered neurodivergent women carry a lifetime of pro masking. Beneath the polished surface, we are trying hard just to hold it together. And when it starts to unravel as it always eventually does, we blame ourselves. Self blame is typical of ADHD particularly women. We are prone to more emotional dysregulation. That self blame is the voice in our head telling us we are flawed, broken, too much, not enough, lazy, disorganised, too sensitive, chaotic, a fraud, an impost

Carl Jung said, "Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you." Physical company is never the issue. The deepest form of loneliness is felt because we struggle to connect to ourselves.   Some of the experiences that affect us as neurodivergent women include: Object permanence and object constancy Neurodivergent women can struggle with both of these because of sensory processing issues. Fo

For decades, the world told us who we were and we believed it. We adjusted ourselves, accommodated the world at our expense and performed. We smiled through the crash and burn cycles, numbed the internal chaos and kept the shiny façade polished. When we were told we were too sensitive, too intense, too much or not enough. We worked hard to prove otherwise. When we became brave enough to finally ask for help, the medical system handed us a label. Stressed, anxious, depressed,

There is a Latin word ipseity  (ip-see-uh-tee) that means the core essence of who we are. Our innermost self, unborrowed and unmasked. The part of us that existed before the roles, the expectations, before who we needed to become to find belonging. Midlife calls us back to that self whether we are ready or not. For most women the first half of our life is spent building careers, relationships, families, status...our identity. We learn how to be useful, needed and how to hold

Sir Ken Robinson was a hero of mine. He grew up in the same area of Liverpool as I did, but it was his extraordinary work in education and his rare gift for communication that I most admired. Widely regarded as one of the great thinkers on creativity and learning, his TED talk remains one of the most watched in history. Sadly, 2020 marked his passing. I was fortunate to work with Sir Ken on a few occasions, and I have always loved a particular photograph of him with my eight-

Cast your mind back to the last time you felt jealousy or envy. I remember mine vividly. It begins with my mind fixing, almost involuntarily, on one person. A sudden preoccupation. Then a thought... I don't like the attention person A gave to person B . Within minutes I have blown my entire life up inside my head. Negative fantasies. Free-fall anxiety. Finally transported into that familiar place of unworthiness and self-loathing, questioning my own value and right to exist.

This post is based on the article Cellular Vitality: Unlocking the Power of Mitochondrial Health Posted on February 18, 2025  by Katie...

“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer." Camus's1954 essay is really a reminder of the inevitability of the polarity of life. Most of my adult life I tried to escape the UK winter, heading to South East asia early in December. Returning reluctantly late January. Winter felt sad, dark and lonely. Learning to embrace this cyclical seasonal process has been once of the greatest reframes of my life. Today laughing my tits in the icy loch and s

I'm not Flexible. I'm Not Flexible. (And Other Reasons Not to Try Yoga) The number one reason people pass on yoga is " I'm not flexible." This is like refusing to go to the dentist because your teeth are in poor condition. That's precisely why you might want to go. In Western culture yoga has become associated with bendy twenty-somethings performing extraordinary shapes on Instagram. But traditional yoga is far less concerned with the shape of your pose than with what you di

We know the perils of smoking. Yet remarkably little is published about the seemingly innocuous activity of sitting in a chair. Former NASA scientist Dr Joan Vernikos has compared prolonged sitting to being weightless in space and the effects on the body are similarly devastating. Sitting causes the abdominals to lose tone and strength, creates immobility in the hips, and shortens the hip flexors. The result is chronic lower back pain, compromised lumbar spinal discs and a ca

Mindfulness meditation has been hailed as the cure for almost everything, depression, chronic pain, diabetes, even autism. In sport it is used to still the mind under competitive pressure. In business it is promoted as a tool for managing stress and increasing productivity. The military has taught snipers to meditate so they can steady their hand and emotionally detach when killing the enemy. All of this is a long way from where meditation began. Arising from Eastern philosop

Red flags when selecting a therapist. Person Centred Therapy This is the therapeutic approach taught to newly qualified counsellors or therapist. This approach is restrictive and in my opinion should not be offered to many people. The primary modality is listening and reflecting back. If you approach therapy as a need to vent then this may be right up your street. But it's not therapy. When we are in crisis we need direction, role modelling, ideas for growth, tools to help us